It has recently hit me that I AM getting older. Soon my friends will start getting married, as will I. It means that anyone I date now could potentially be the one person that I spend the rest of my life with. This time next year I will no longer be a teenager, and that thought is a little frightening! I still feel 18, and I would love to stay this age for the rest of my life. Sure, my uncle says that you don't "age," instead you become "vintage." This of course means that you get better with age. I hope to get better with age, in all aspects of life.
Right now I am still exploring my faith, myself, and establishing my existence, trying to find something that others will remember me by. I feel so young and unsure at times.
Love is something deep, and I do not want to toss it around.
I want to live inspired, full of life and love. I want to have wellness; emotional, spiritual, and physical. I want to find an amazing love for God. I want to find what love really is. I am blessed with wonderful friends and family, and also a wonderful boyfriend. But do I really love him? Love him enough to spend my life with him? And if I do love him, would he love God as much as I do, or at least as much as I aspire to? Do I really love God as much as I say I do? Am I strong enough to withstand the temptations I face with my boyfriend?
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[Boone, North Carolina] December 2009
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