Trust

Trust is a scary thing sometimes.  

I trust people a lot, maybe a little too much, but so far I have been ok.  It can be scary to know that they could easily hurt me, but without trust then there is no relationship. 

In the same way, if you do not trust God then it is impossible to have a relationship with Him.  He desperately wants to have a deep relationship and I simply have to trust that He knows better than I do what to do with my life.  I have found out the hard way that when I do not trust Him with my circumstances I end up messing things up pretty quickly.  He tells me that "the steps of man are established by the Lord when he delights in His way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand" --Psalm 37:23-24.
No matter what, God will always be there holding my hand.  The fall is inevitable, but God will keep me from being "cast headlong."

He knows what will happen in your, He has complete control, so there is no point in trying to control your own life or trying to predict what will happen in the future.  I know that it is hard to give up control, but when you "commit your way to the Lord... He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday" --Psalm 37:5-6.
That means that just as you know the light will come and noon will come, in the same way He will bring righteousness and justice to your life. 

The beauty of this is that all you have to do is sit and enjoy His everlasting love!  Trusting Him with everything means that He will "supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" --Philippians 4:19.  It is important to understand that we are nothing without God and that everything comes straight from Him, including trust and faith.

I challenge you to trust God with every little thing in your life, I am challenging myself as well.  He loves you so much that He will give you more than you ever asked for!  Also, He will not relent until your heart is His so you might as well just save yourself the trouble and give it up now :) It is actually a beautiful process.

To Judge or Not to Judge? (Yes, that is the question)

      Sometimes I have a problem with judging people before I get to know them.  In every case I have been wrong in some way and yet I still tend to do it. I think that it's just human nature, but it's not something that God wants me to do.  Some of the best people that I know I judged wrongly in the beginning.  Honestly, I have found that if I just ignore my judgements then my life is a lot more full of love as well as adventure because I get to know people who I would have originally written off.

      It is also important not to judge because with "the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you" Matthew 7:1 (Jesus' own words).  Wow, so if I judge someone harshly then I will be judged harshly as well? I have never liked to be judged, so what makes me think that it's ok to judge someone else?

      I want to encourage you to see people for what they are not for what they are not. If that means taking a few extra minutes to ask questions with an open mind and become friends, then do it! What if God put you into their life for a specific reason and you fail see them as God sees them? That is a very sad thought to me, so I will be striving to love everyone I meet and share God and joy as often as possible.  I challenge you to do the same!

True Love

If there is one thing about God that I am always amazed about, it is how much He really loves us! And I mean a love like no one else could ever love, His love is so everlasting that it goes beyond death.

      A few months ago I was in an extremely dry place, my bones felt so dry, and I was crying out for help.  Since then He has answered every single prayer and has brought me into His everlasting and overwhelming love, and has infused me with something bigger than myself... Life.  THANK YOU GOD!

      I want to encourage you to seek Him and learn to receive His Love in full measure. It IS possible and it is absolutely amazing. This is an act of faith, believing that He loves you with a boundless and everlasting love.  "Be strengthened with power through his Spirit... so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith -- that you, being grounded in LOVE, may have strength to comprehend... the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the LOVE of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." -Ephesians 4:16-17.

      You also need to draw near to Him with confidence so that you will receive every single drop that He has to offer. "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." -Hebrews 4:16

He will not let you down. 

      I know that is hard to believe, everyone in my life has let me down in some way or another.  But He isn't just someone in my life, He is the creator of my life and He knows what to do with my crazy self more than I could ever know. As long as you "delight yourself in the Lord," then He will grant you "the desires of your heart." -Psalms 34:4  That is so amazing to me because I have a lot of desires for my life. I know that if I delight him then those desires will be granted because they are the same things that He desires for my life.

      I have found that since I started seeking Him with a strong fervency that it has been a complete joy to spend time with Him every morning and throughout the day, and it definitely has become a delight to be in His presence. I do not worry about things as much as I used to because He takes care of them for me. I simply have to listen quietly to hear Him tell me what to do.

      The devil will try to get you off track. He will lie to you and tell you that God isn't doing anything for you because the devil "is a liar and the father of lies" -John 8:44

The trick is to fight against those lies. FIGHT by submitting yourself to God, "resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." -James 4:7-8

      I promise that if you do these things then your whole being will begin to fill up with Love. Soon it will overflow with Love and just keep on flowing! Love is the most important thing in life. Love God, love your family, love your friends, and remember to love yourself... if you do not love yourself then how can you expect to love anyone else? Remember that you are made in the image of God, if you hate yourself then you are telling God that you hate his work.

Love is essential, it is not a hard thing to do, and it is absolutely amazing to love and be loved.

New Beginnings

      New beginnings are always a good thing, although sometimes they can be very painful.  God has led me along a road to a new beginning, and it has not been a very pretty sight.  It is amazing the way that God disciplines His children.  And let me tell you, I have been through some disciplining.  Ouch.  The good thing is that it has taught me how to live and walk in faith.  Now I know that if I stray from Him then a good old fashioned spanking is in order.  I have learned to live in fear of God but also in love with Him.  He has provided me with everything that I have and it all belongs to Him.  I need to remind myself that all of the things that I make, such as all of these DIYs and projects, come straight from God.

      This is the start of a new year, a new beginning, and I am more than excited to jump into the [organized] chaos. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? well, Someone does :) 

      For me, this school year is a symbol of new things to come, new beginnings, and new experiences.  I am blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people, to be living in a beautiful apartment, and to even be going to college.  Thank You God!!

These Dry Bones

      Have you ever felt lonely and frustrated but you don't really know why?  I have, I hate when it happens. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me.  Like I'm all dried up inside when I should be enjoying each moment that is full of life.  I sit there and feel angry and confused and lash out at the people closest to me.  After a few minutes or hours or days of feeling alone, I have to remind myself that it's ok to feel that way.  Everyone feels it in some point in their life.  I'm not saying that it is a good thing to feel, but it's not wierd.

      When I start feeling this way it is usually because I have taken it upon myself to walk my own life.  I forget that God is in control and I try to take that control away from him.  I see a pattern: I stop relying on God for everything and begin to rely on myself, that is when everything fails miserably.  I simply cannot handle life on my own.  Sure, I think I can handle at least the good stuff, but when it gets into the nitty gritty details... I just fail.

      I want to encourage you through this post.  When you start feeling like a withering autumn leaf, look to God for comfort.  He will never deny you water.  Give the control back to Him, it is so much easier when someone else is handling the situation. 

      I found that this song conveys the exact feeling of my frustrations. I hope that it will speak to you in some way and give you some hope as well.

     

hurricanes, tornadoes, and tsunamis OH MY!

[wilmington sunset]

even though i am young i have experienced quite a few of life's storms. but one thing is for sure, none of those storms can silence my love for God! this summer has been a turning point and i feel like He is sending me to chile for something amazing. pray that i will have wisdom to do what is right and give it all to Him. by doing this i know that He will create His own storm, one that i can dance in and not be afraid of the flood. all i want in life is to have God's river flowing through me. 

i'm so excited!!

Not Studying.

So here I am, it's Thursday night and it feels like a Friday! I have one more exam tomorrow and then I'm done for spring break!!!! Snowboarding here I come!!! Gah I'm so stoked for this summer. It's going to be amazing. I'll be in Chile for six weeks, exploring the western side of South America and quite possibly taking a boat ride down to Antarctica! How amazing would it be to say that I went snowboarding... in Antarcitca?!! That's not going to happen, but I will be snowboarding in Chile.

I have learned so many things these past few weeks and reconnected with God in a way that was much needed. I finally found a church that I like and have a consistent ride to. And I also got my boyfriend to come, I'm pretty sure his heart was touched by God even though he probably doesn't realize it at the moment. Sometimes lessons are learned the hard way. The other day I was able to be there for a friend in distress and we had a good talk and it felt so good to be able to pray with her right then and there.

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[Roadkill?]

Becoming Who I Am

It has recently hit me that I AM getting older. Soon my friends will start getting married, as will I. It means that anyone I date now could potentially be the one person that I spend the rest of my life with. This time next year I will no longer be a teenager, and that thought is a little frightening! I still feel 18, and I would love to stay this age for the rest of my life. Sure, my uncle says that you don't "age," instead you become "vintage." This of course means that you get better with age. I hope to get better with age, in all aspects of life.
Right now I am still exploring my faith, myself, and establishing my existence, trying to find something that others will remember me by. I feel so young and unsure at times.
Love is something deep, and I do not want to toss it around.
I want to live inspired, full of life and love. I want to have wellness; emotional, spiritual, and physical. I want to find an amazing love for God. I want to find what love really is. I am blessed with wonderful friends and family, and also a wonderful boyfriend. But do I really love him? Love him enough to spend my life with him? And if I do love him, would he love God as much as I do, or at least as much as I aspire to? Do I really love God as much as I say I do? Am I strong enough to withstand the temptations I face with my boyfriend?

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[Boone, North Carolina] December 2009